Wednesday, November 11, 2009

say NO to COUPLE




if not checked, may mean wasting time, effort and dignity. Islam teaches us to be truthful and realistic. Besides, the concept of love in Islam is very unique, when a Muslim loves something or somebody, it must be . . .

......for the sake of Allah; the same applies to hatred. Islam teaches us that marriage is the finest, purest and permissible relationship that should exist between a male and female; it should be the goal that they both have in mind. 

There is no room in Islam for illicit affairs or the Western vogue-word of SPECIAL boyfriend and girlfriend. All those stories of media and movies are not helpful to make a person comply with the teachings of Islam. 

  The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, says: 

"Three qualities, if found in a person, will help him have perfect faith: Having Allah and His Messenger, peace and blessings be upon him, as the most beloved ones, loving a person only for the sake of Allah and hating getting back to Kufr (disbelief) the way one hates to be thrown into fire." 

That means love is a fruit of piety. Love without piety is mischief.

There is no concept of "couple" in Islam as it is practiced in the West. There is no dating or living in de facto relationship or trying each other out before committing to each other. There is to be no physical relationship whatsoever before marriage.


The Quran expects Muslims to act with the utmost propriety and righteousness regarding intention of getting marriage...

here..the PROPOSAL part.

From an Islamic perspective, in choosing a partner, the most important factor that should be taken into consideration is Taqwa (piety and consciousness of Allah). 

The Prophet, (peace and blessings be upon him), recommended the suitors to see each other before going through with marriage procedures. 

That is very important because it is unreasonable for two people to be thrown into marriage and be expected to have a successful marital life, full of love and affection, when they know nothing of each other. The couple are permitted to look at each other.

But this "seeing" or "meeting" is not to be taken as a substitute for the "courtship" of the West. 

The man should not gaze passionately at his bride-to-be, but only have a critical look at her face and hands to acquaint himself with her personality and beauty. 

However, if a man so desires, he may appoint a woman to go and interview the proposed bride, so that she may fully describe the type of girl she is.

Since believing men and women are referred to in the Quran, a woman also has the right to look at her potential husband.

This rule does not contradict the Qur'anic verse that says,

“…believing men and women should lower their gaze” (An-Nur: 30).

The special permission for men and women to see each other with a view to matrimony does not contravene the code of conduct for believing men and women to lower their gaze and be modest..

Besides, The couple in this ENGAGEMENNT case, does not permitted to be alone in a closed room or going out together alone. 

As the Hadith says:

"When a man and a woman are together alone, the Shaytan makes their third."

Careful consideration of the Quranic injunctions and the traditions of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) clearly show that marriage is compulsory (wajib) for a man who has the means to easily pay the Mahr (dowry) and to support a wife and children, and is healthy, and fears that if does not marry, he may be tempted to commit fornication (Zina). 

It is also compulsory for a woman who has no other means of maintaining herself and who fears that her sexual urge may push her into fornication. But even for a person who has a strong will to control his sexual desire, who has no wish to have children, and who feels that marriage will keep him away from his devotion to Allah, it is THOUGH..commendable.

Allah has created men and women as company for one another, and so that they can procreate and live in peace and tranquility according to the commandments of Allah and the directions of His Messenger. 

The Quran says:

"And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your hearts. Undoubtedly in these are signs for those who reflect." [Noble Quran 30:21]

"And Allah has made for you your mates of your own nature, and made for you, out of them, sons and daughters and grandchildren, and provided for you sustenance of the best." [Noble Quran 16:72]

These verses of the Noble Quran clearly show that in contrast to other religions like Christianity, Buddhism, Judaism etc. which consider celibacy or monasticism as a great virtue and a means of salvation, Islam considers marriage as one of the most virtuous and approved institutions. 

The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) declared, "There is no monasticism in Islam." He further ordained,

"O you young men! Whoever is able to marry should marry, for that will help him to lower his gaze and guard his modesty." [Al-Bukhari]

Modesty was regarded as a great virtue by the Prophet. He said, "Modesty is part of faith." [Al-Bukhari]

The importance of the institution or marriage receives its greatest emphasis from the following Hadith of the Prophet,

"Marriage is my sunnah. Whosoever keeps away from it is not from me."

With these Quranic injunctions and the guidance from the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) in mind, we shall examine the institution of marriage in the Shari'ah.

The word Zawaj (mate or pair) is used in the Quran to signify a pair or a mate. But in common parlance it stands for marriage. Since the family is the nucleus of Islamic society, and marriage is the only way to bring families into existence, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) insisted upon his followers entering into marriage The Shari'ah prescribes rules to regulate the functioning of the family so that both spouses can live together in love, security, and tranquility.

Marriage in Islam has aspects of both 'Ibadah (worship) of Allah and mu'amalah (transactions between human beings).

In its 'Ibadah (act of worship) aspect, marriage is an act pleasing to Allah because it is in accordance with his commandments that husband and wife love each other and help each other to make efforts to continue the human race and rear and nurse their children to become true servants of Allah.

In its mu'amalah aspect, marriage being a lawful response to the basic biological instinct to have sexual intercourse and to procreate children, the Shari'ah has prescribed detailed rules for translating this response into a living human institution reinforced by a whole framework of legally enforceable rights and duties, not only of the spouses, but also of their offspring.

These aspects are beautifully explained in a tradition of the Prophet. It is narrated by Anas that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said,

"When a man marries, he has fulfilled half of his religion, so let him fear Allah regarding the remaining half."

The Prophet considered marriage for a Muslim as half of his religion because it shields him from promiscuity, adultery, fornication, homosexuality etc., which ultimately lead to many other evils like slander, quarreling, homicide, loss of property and disintegration of the family. According to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) the remaining half of the faith can be saved by Taqwa.


"THERE IS no term such COUPLE in ISLAM"


M. Faiz Syahmi said...

Hurm.. So many posts about married and couple nowadays. I think writers cant wait to get married. ^^

Well, its a dream of most people right?

Ahsani Taqwiim said...

i post this because of my concern towards young couples..

i dont know how to stop this agenda/issue of "coupling"..thus i hope by posting this sort of post would raise their awareness of the INTENTION of getting marriage, especially at the young ages.


sometimes, the post doesnt really meant to me :) but sometimes it does..
its depands.

Anonymous said...

jazakillah khair ya ukhti..

your post indirectly makes me realised so many importance thing..
indeed, its hard to practice ISLAM when you are in deep love towards somebody..
You tend to go out together and want to be by his side all the times..
what a shame,
i shuld stop that asap.
thats what you said to me "mujahadah".
its hard but its a must.

jazakillah khair ya ukhti.
when will u getting married? i hope u will not wait for so long. there is many man outside there who admired u a lot.its better for u to have husband at this time.
take care. i love u.

Ahsani Taqwiim said...

to anonymous:

its not easy to get marriage, plus its not easy to get a man who has strong fikrah, who is compatible,rahmah and mawaddah..huh. ALLAH might has his own plan. just wait and see :)

Ahsani Taqwiim said...

some thing are better left unspoken :)

M. Faiz Syahmi said...

well, nikah is really complicated process.

not really as simple process as we-look-at-a-girl-and-marry-her.

responsibilities must be think of first, year back before akad.
by men or by women.

many young married couples forget this when they got married and look what happen to most of couple in our beloved country? [ [I don't know anywhere else if they're just like our country coz I never collect statistics from their country XP ]

yeah, of course dating/coupling issue is a really heavy case of musleems nowadays. sometimes, it can be an eye sore to look at them. but it just a natural phenomenon that happens to all kind of homosapien that live in the earth. we can't STOP this agenda, but we just can prevent it by using 5 steps[if i'm not mistaken] of amar makruf nahi munkar that suggested by our Prophet(P.B.U.H). I think you know what that is. and here, i read a post that advice us to prevent dating/coupling. ^^

thanks for your concern, maybe some people who don't really understand the conditions will be aware.

mabrouk. :)