Friday, September 30, 2011

of the ups and downs...

It was 27th June, a lovely day. The sun smiles gracefully, welcoming me and three of my friends here. The fresh air and little drop of dews sprinkling over us. I felt the joy and refreshment. “Their” sweet smiles, cheerful faces, and ANGELIC looks, murdered the naughty butterflies in my stomach. Covered my empty stomach, craving for SOMETHING nice to eat early morning.

I love the students. I love the teachers. And I love the environment. Here, lots of monkeys playing around, make me feel so excited –a beautiful nature. I love this school the way it is. This school, Taman Petaling Girls School is located in a housing area, a bit hilly and next to the jungle. It is just like Mt Eden School in New Zealand, a peaceful place to study and growing loves.

I was over the RAINBOW. I was SO excited to see all girls around. I am not hating or avoiding boys but...educating future mothers is more important than anything else (^_____^) I should thank Allah as He grants my wishes, posted me to the girls’ school, although it is just 3 months.

  Life is full of ups and downs. Sometimes I felt tired, and have no idea what to teach on the next days. Sometimes I lost confidence when my lesson did not work out. Sometimes I was mad at you, my students, when you did not follow my instructions or not completing the tasks given. Sometimes as well, I was so down with my personal life. I always cried in the school toilets and spending most of my time in Surau. Some asked why I prayed many times at 9 am, then I cried? The answer is I need time to recover myself.

But the beautiful thing here is I am being myself when I am with you. I am not a type of teacher who loves raising voice to the students, or easily cursing the students for their mistakes. No I am not. I am a soft person. I am afraid to those fierce and strict ones. But when I am with someone (you) whom I feel connected, I would love telling jokes, smiling, laughing, and hugging.  I do romantic things and say flowery words. I would try my best doing something great for myself and you. Now you know the true colour of me. You have seen everything about me. You saw me becoming Juliet to the Romeo, You saw me mad with red faces and angry look, You saw me worrying when the observation comes, you have seen me pretending like a professional well-known actress over the world =)  I really miss those moments..

My practicum almost end, I know it is indeed hard for you to let me go. I HATE TO GO as well. I have gone through these ups and downs together with you. When I was sad, you cheered me up, you supported and motivated me. There was one moment when I was really weak... I just can’t survive. I want to give up for something precious in my life. I want to let everything go and end up hanging like that. But Allah loves me.  He showed me great lesson between all those problem and difficulties. When I read your problems in that task sheet, I cried for almost one night, reflecting my life. Then I realised, life is not easy for both of us, especially to those of you who go through life alone at this young age. No Care, No Love - Only hatred, sadness and loneliness left with you.

My dear, when you are sad, just remember this...everyone has to face problem in life. Sometime, we think and feel that our problem is the WORST among all, but God knows, we are capable of handling it. He puts the burden to those who can carry its weight. Therefore, always believe that the solution is there, maybe we don’t find it yet.  Sooner or later, it will come to us.  But making effort is a must. God counts that.  We have to look for the solution and continuously asking and hoping for God’s help, I am sure He will gift remedy for us.  It is just a matter of time. Keep calm, be patient, and move on...!

                Before I end, I am sorry for all my weaknesses. And, thank you so much for all the joy you bring into my life, for all times you stood by me, for every dream you made come true, and for seeing the BEST in me. I was blessed because you loved me. I hope we will meet each other again, either in here or in the hereafter. I also hope you will always remember me in your prayer. Pray for God’s bless upon me, and my family. Take care and I love you!

Miss Atiqah,
Teacher’s Room,
29.9.11 - 12.20pm.

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